Welcome Back. . .

FACT:

I ride the bus to school.

FACT:

I have not been on the bus since school ended.

FACT:

I see very interesting things on the bus.

FACT:

Even more interesting things HAPPEN to me on the bus.

FACT:

Homeless people scare me. (I have been attacked 2 times by homeless men)

These facts combined = not a good thing.

Today I was going home. I sat down and there was a homeless man talking to himself. (totally scared me out of my mind) He was two seats away from me. He started telling some interesting things.

1. He just recently got robbed (his Bible, Book of Mormon, fishing net, and his nudist magazine were all stolen)

2. He lives on the river. He has lived there for 3 1/2 years.

3. He likes to ride bikes

I could go on for a while about the things I learned from him, but I wont.

I was so uncomfortable. I was just waiting for him to come up and attack me or something.

I started to text Shantel for comfort. I had papers on my lap.

All of the sudden the man across from me starts talking to me.

Man: (smiling creepily) so you already have a science test the first week of class? (referring to the papers on my lap)

me: yeah (how does he know it is a science test? oh what a creeper. How long has he been staring at me?)

Man: that is too bad.

me: yeah (Oh please stop talking to me)

Man: so is it for your major?

Me: yeah

Man: which is?

Me: Clinical lab. science

Man: oh cool. . . .

then he said something and I couldn't hear him.

Instead of asking what he said I just assumed he asked if I liked my major.

(F.Y.I. I hate asking people to repeat themselves)

Me: it is a lot of science but I like it so far.

Man: thats not what I asked.

I felt pretty stupid. So I just stopped talking and pretended that I was texting.

Right when that happened . . . we stopped at THE longest red light ever.

Somehow I survived the next ten minutes.

The bus stopped at my stop and guess who got off with me?

My new bus friends.

Welcome back to Utah's public transportation.

Maybe it's Just Utah

This picture reminded me of how guys would ask girls out to high school dances.

One guys put starburst all over my porch with a little message

"Star light, star bright

Will you come to prom with me?"

I had to look for letters that spelled the guys name out. . . to know who asked me.

Sometimes guys mean well but are not very creative.

. . . some guys really needed to have their mom ok the idea first

My good friend and I were asked out by identical twins. Twin #1 (who ended up being a perv) asked me out in a cute simple way.

Twin #2 asked my friend by leaving a pumpkin full of chili on her doorstep. Not just any chili. . . but really nasty chili that looked like tar. He left it and didn't ring the doorbell.

It got really gross being left outside over night.

after searching the nasty chili-pumpkin for the "will you go to homecoming with me?" for two hours . . . .they finally found it on the bottom of the pumpkin. He just said "will you go to the dance with me". No correlation to a pumpkin or chili.

I was asked out by a nice nerdy kid.

He duct taped a 2X4 to a poster which was then taped to my front door.

(it stayed up for about one minute)

In horrible writing it said:

"Wood" you go to prom with me?

I don't know any other place where boys will ask girls to dances in strange ways.

If done right it can usually turn out really cute.

Anybody have examples of good or bad?

Not in the Mood for This

I am exhausted. . . yet I am blogging because something truly terrible has happened to me. (Ok, i'm being dramatic. . . . but my wound is throbbing right now.)

I turned off my lights and was walking to my bed when all of the sudden. . . .

OUCH! . . . my toe! . . . .Ow! . . .

I turned back on my lights to see what I had stepped on. . .

My camera charger! My broken camera charger! !

Why is my broken camera charger on the floor? I do not know.

I stepped on the metal part that is sticking up (Anybody know what its called? I'm too tired to think of it) It was on the floor . . . waiting to injure me. Me being the accident prone person that I am. . . . I stepped on it. If it was alive it would be laughing an evil laugh.

Of course I am now bleeding. . . . a lot . . . like a ridiculous amount

Of course I have no band aids. . .

Of course I am too tired to deal with my throbbing wound.

(. . .too tired to blog about it?? NEVER!!)

So I used my handy skills and fashioned my own band aid.

New Life Plan

I got home from work and flopped my body onto the floor. I haven't moved since.

I don't really like life right now.

So I have decided that I am becoming . . .

Yes that is right folks. . . I am going to be a nun.

Then I wont have to worry about. . . .

*Money

*School

*Clothes

*Boys

*Where to live

*What I'm doing with my life

Perfect!

The End!

OH My Goodness!

I am at my parent's house right now

Enjoying the pool and my little siblings.

I was doing my hair (in my sisters huge bathroom) when I heard sister #2 scream.

(Sister #2 has inherited a backpack from older sister #1.)

Sister #2 was cleaning out all of the old homework that sister #1 had left in it.

Found among all the papers was a lovely little surprise. . . .

A brown lunch sack from the last day of school. . . It still had food in it.

I guess sister #1 was really excited to be done with high school.

What are the odds?

Do you know those times where you think . . . .

What are the odds?

I just watched this movie.
It is so good.

I wondered if Capt. Daniel McCormick "Danny" thought if 'I had just proposed to Helen or kept her a little longer. .. would she have gotten hit by that car?'

What are the odds that she left at the exact moment that a car would hit her?

Today I had one of those moments.

I ran into this guy. Things are. . . . well awkward between us.

I saw him (I thought, oh no!)

He stopped to chat. (No, no, no!)

He complimented me . . (awkward!)

said he wished he could have come to an activity that we just had the other day (yeah, me too buddy. . . .I really wanted to roll my eyes)

Seriously! What are the odds! I just happened to leave a building on campus right when he walks by. Why?! Why him?! Ugh!

I Spoke Too Soon

Ever since you-know-who moved. . . . I have found that my life has become quite boring

I wanted to blog about something

yet nothing exciting has happened to me

So I decided that something fantastic needed to happen to me today

I was on my way to work

I was sitting at the bus stop

all of the sudden a car full of Mexicans drove past

We made eye contact

they all started to smile, wave, and wink

. . . this wasn't the kind of excitement that I was looking for.

Yet it still made me laugh

Sad Day

Well this boy had to leave me.

He has school in Boise

School starts in a week and he doesn't even have a place to live

So he had to leave :(

So no more annoying picture overloads of him

Well. . .

That is a lie

I will when we visit!

The Last Hurrah

Sadly our time together is almost over. Before he leaves on Monday we decided to have our last hurrah!

So we went to Lagoon!!

It was really hot and crowded. We got in line for the Rattlesnake rapids and waited for almost an hour. We decided to buy an Icee to enjoy while we stood in the sun.

Drive up Provo Canyon. So pretty!

I could not convince this boy to stay in Utah with me. So I had to take a lot more pictures of him then usual.

The Fair, The Fair

These boys did an AmAzInG job at the fair!!

I was so mad that there was a fence in front of the stage.

After they played we went and had some fun! We went to the rodeo. It was really good. The rodeo clown was hilarious and the bull riding was fantastic!

Jonathan, Brandon, and Jordan.

These boys are funny

when you put them all together you just wont be able to stop laughing

it was a great day!

New Favorite Song

I am probably the most music-retarded person ever!

Once upon a time I never listened to the radio.

I had my Elton John, Josh Groban, and other strange music

(stuff that makes most other people cringe)

but I was content.

Then I moved to college and all people ever talk about is music.

"Whats your favorite band?"

"What kind of music do you listen to?"

"What type of music is your favorite?"

I got tired of telling people that I knew absolutely nothing about music

So I turned to the dark side and went to my sister for music help.

This is now my favorite song:

Oh her eyes, her eyes
make the stars look like they're not shining
her hair, her hair
falls perfectly without her trying

she's so beautiful
and i tell her every day

yeah i know, i know
when i compliment her
she wont believe me
and its so, its so
sad to think she don't see what i see

but every time she asks me do i look okay
i say

when i see your face
there's not a thing that i would change
cause you're amazing
just the way you are
and when you smile,
the whole world stops and stares for awhile
cause girl you're amazing
just the way you are

her lips, her lips
i could kiss them all day if she'd let me
her laugh, her laugh
she hates but i think its so sexy

she's so beautiful
and i tell her every day

oh you know, you know, you know
id never ask you to change
if perfect is what you're searching for
then just stay the same

so don't even bother asking
if you look okay
you know i say

when i see your face
there's not a thing that i would change
cause you're amazing
just the way you are
and when you smile,
the whole world stops and stares for awhile
cause girl you're amazing
just the way you are

the way you are
the way you are
girl you're amazing
just the way you are

when i see your face
there's not a thing that i would change
cause you're amazing
just the way you are
and when you smile,
the whole world stops and stares for awhile
cause girl you're amazing
just the way you are

(Girls. . . if a man ever sings this to you

and gives you the look that the frog prince does on "Princess and the Frog"

. . . MARRY HIM!!)

Come One, Come All

These hot boys are playing at the Summit County fair. (202 East Park rd, Coalville, UT 84017)

They are so amazing!! They wrote all of the songs they will play.

They play at one! So everyone should come!

Zucchini Chocolate Cake

Jonathan's roommate made us dinner. It was AmAzInG!

For dessert we ate Zucchini Chocolate Cake

1/2 c. oil
3 tsp. vanilla
3 c. grated zucchini
1/4 c. sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. baking soda
2 c. flour
1/3 c. cocoa
1 c. walnuts (optional)

combine all dry ingredients and then add wet
put in a 9 x 13 greased pan
bake at 375 for 25-30 min.
frost with chocolate frosting once cooled.

Can't Sleep

I can't go to sleep. I am too happy to sleep. I can't stop smiling.

Why can't I go to sleep?

1. I am dating the most amazing guy EvEr!

2. My best friend is living on cloud 9 (she is dating the second most amazing guy)

3. I got a job

4. The weather is fantastic

5. I get to spend all day with #1 amazing guy tomorrow (Can't wait!)

6. I have really wonderful friends

7. I still have a month before school starts

Life couldn't get much better!

Um. . . I Am Still Here

Boys + sports + girls ≠ fun

When I was little. . . I wondered why (grown up) girls usually never played sports with guys. Being the tomboy that I was . . this was a great mystery. . . .I did not understand it.

Now I know why

Last night a group of us played volleyball.

There were four girls and ten guys.

I was the only girl on one team. . . which means . . .

I think I hit the ball. . . . about five times the whole game. (Three of those times . . . I was serving)

As I watched the guys jump in front of me I wanted to scream

HELLO! I'M STILL HERE!! Why was I invited if I can't play?

Guys get into this game mode.

They have to win. . . and slaughter the other team.

In short I was just standing there. . . taking up space. Watching my guy teammates jump in front of me to get the ball. . . or push me out of the way to get the ball.

As much as I do not like this. . . I am so used to this. I am a girl.

Guys just don't think girls can play sports. . . .I guess

Now I am not saying I am a pro volleyball player but I can hit, serve, and bump the ball pretty well.

One time the ball was coming for me. I did not even blink. I knew a guy would jump in front of me and hit it. So I didn't move.

To the horror of my guy team. . . . the ball slammed to the ground. They all looked at me like I really was an idiot girl who couldn't play.

I felt pretty stupid.

This is why girls + guys + sports do not go together

This is also why the next time we play. . . . I think I will just save my pride and sit on the side and cheer on the men.

Dance Like Nobody's Watching

Do you know the quote

“Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven

on earth.”

One girl took that quote very seriously

Jonathan and I were sitting out on my balcony. We were enjoying the rain . . . it was POURING. All of the sudden we notice this girl. She is walking back and forth in the rain. Now I love being in the rain. . . sometimes. But this chick was out of her mind.

She just stood there looking up into the sky.

Then she would walk around like she was confused.

Then she would twist her arms and do. . . . something. Like she was trying to imitate a movie or something.

Jonathan and I were just getting the biggest kick watching her.

The one thing I really wanted to do. . . .

was to go up to her and say

"Darling, you are wearing a white shirt"

Still I don't think it would have stopped her.

Why Has Nobody Ever Told Me?

I do not like body hair. I think it is so disturbing. I also happen to not like shaving.

This is not a good combination.

My roommate told me about waxing. She LOVED it.

Yeah! I thought my problem was solved.

I am also a very cheap person. So I went to Wal-mart and bought a waxing kit for about ten bucks.

The wax is so sticky! It got everywhere! It would not come off!

Do I now have nice, smooth, hairless areas? NO! I have never been in so much pain. I have red spots, most of my hair still left, and I am sticky.

Waxing is of the devil.

I think I will go back to shaving. . .

Unless some nice person wants to pay for my laser hair removal.

An Application to Date My Daughter

The next time that a boy comes over to date one of my sisters . . . my dad is going to make him fill out this. . .

Application to Date My Daughter

Name:______________________________ Date of Birth: __/____/____

Height:_______ Weight:_______ IQ:______ GPA:_______ Top Running Speed:____

Social Security #:__________________ Temple Recommend Expires: ____/_____/_____

Do you have one Male and one Female parent? ________ if "no" please explain:

Number of years parents married: _______ Do you have any brothers or sisters? ______ Are they normal? ______________

Do you own or have access to any of the following?

Van________ Water bed _________ Truck with over sized wheels _______

Do you have any earring, nose ring, belly ring or any other type of ring, stud, or bar anywhere on your body? ___________ Do you have a tattoo? _______

In 50 words or less, what does "Don't touch my daughter" mean to you?

In 50 words or less, give me your definition of real pain:

In your opinion, what time does the Holy Ghost go to bed? ________________

Ward you attend: ______________ How often? S M T W Th F S

When would be a good time to interview your father, mother, and bishop?

Please fill in the blanks:

If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded would be _____________

If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken would be _______________

A woman's place is _________________

The one thing I hope this application doesn't ask is ________________

When I meet a girl, the first thing I look at is _________________

(If the answer to the above question is somewhere below her neck, leave the premises now, keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion)

What I want to do if I grow up is ______________

I swear that all the above information is correct to the best of my knowledge under penalty of death, bodily harm, dismemberment, torture, or mental abuse.

Signature of Applicant:___________________________________

Signature of Father:_____________________________________

Signature of Mother:_____________________________________

Signature of Bishop:_____________________________________

Signature of the Prophet:__________________________________

Thank you for your interest in my daughter. Please allow 4-6 weeks for processing. You will be contacted in writing to set up a lie detector test if approved. If denied, please never apply again.

HAHAH. . . . ok maybe not. It was pretty funny anyway.